We're nearing the last days of summer 2016. The end of August is on the horizon. We could try to savor every last second of it in slow-motion. Or we could pile into a homemade vehicle, push it to the top of a volcano, and then fly down it at irresponsible speeds while buzzing on both pure thrill and about multiple tallboys of something cheap and piss-colored. But one doesn't have to literally race the weekend in order to win the weekend—not with all these music shows, stand-up and sketch comedy showcases, livepodcasts, puppet shows, and corgis to catch. Hell, you could pack more fun into the next 72 hours than hot dog contest competitors can slam weiners into their throats. It's a big weekend. Hit the menu below and load up your plate accordingly.
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Friday, Aug 19
Kinski, Wimps, Lithics
With an incredible history of releasing LPs by regional and revolutionary bands like Unwound, Bikini Kill, and Sleater-Kinney, it seems fitting that Kill Rock Stars would celebrate its 25th birthday by hosting a show featuring three amazing Northwest bands that push different musical envelopes under the banner of punk. Seattle’s Kinski has been blowing minds with their high-energy psych-rock for years, and never seem to stop exploring the sonic limits of the sacred chord. Fellow Seattleites Wimps may be one of KRS’ newest signees, but this adorable trio of lo-fi power pop/punk mavens is really three certified veterans armed with ramshackle riffs and playful melodies. Rounding out the lineup is beloved Portland up-and-comers Lithics, who shine their angular light through a No New York prism to illuminate the space between rhythms. Curating like this proves that Kill Rock Stars continues to stay in touch with the vanguard. CHRIS SUTTON
The Spare Room, 9pm, $10
Hasan Minhaj
In his role as a senior correspondent, Hasan Minhaj is one of the best things about the The Daily Show, proudly—and hilariously—carrying forth Jon Stewart’s fake-news legacy. Tonight, witness his essential “theatrical debut,”Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King, which draws on his first-generation Indian American identity. MEGAN BURBANK
Aladdin Theater, 8pm, $20-22
People Under the Stairs, Moka Only, DJ Thanksgiving Brown The Los Angeles-hailing hip hop duo have been rocking their microphones for a decade. Catch them tonight in support of their three part EP, The Gettin' Off Stage.
Mississippi Studios, 9pm, $18-20
Band of Horses, Wild Feathers
From 2006 to 2010, Band of Horses released three albums packed with shimmering indie rock, soaring soft pop, and reverberant twang, and each was glorious in its own way. But 2012’s Mirage Rock sounded like paint-by-numbers Band of Horses—flat and lifeless. It’s a welcome relief that the band’s new album Why Are You OK finds Ben Bridwell & Co. back in the easygoing, starlit-evening groove they lived in a decade ago. There are a few charging, chiming rockers (“Solemn Oath,”“Casual Party”), a handful of pillowy dream songs (“Barrel House,”“Lying Under Oak”), and a few tunes that filter Bridwell’s widescreen anthems through off-kilter production (“Hag,”“Throw My Mess”). With only an exception or two, the songs on Why Are You OK come together quite nicely—simply put, Band of Horses sounds like Band of Horses again, and that’s a very high compliment. BEN SALMON
Edgefield, 6:30pm, $40, all ages
Lavender Country, Hearts of Oak
Until recently, few people knew that the first openly gay country album came out of Seattle in 1973. Songwriter Patrick Haggerty’s band Lavender Country and their eponymous debut were largely lost to time before a YouTube rip of “Cryin’ These Cocksucking Tears” made it to the right ears and resulted in a 2014 reissue. The album is, in small part, the novelty record it appears to be—Haggerty’s a witty lyricist with an odd voice and a penchant for sex humor leading a ragtag band—but also deals with people being committed to asylums or killed for their sexual preferences. It’s a unique middle ground between sincerity and silliness where Haggerty (who became a lifelong political activist) voiced a radical response to the repression of the era while still having a good time. Forty years later, Lavender Country finally has the audience it deserves. JOSHUA JAMES AMBERSON
Turn! Turn! Turn! 8pm
Sexual Awake'n'Baking
A live episode of Natalie Holt and Maddie Downes' podcast, focused on getting stoned and having sex, with guests Milan Patel, Caitlin Weierhauser, Bri Pruett, and Jim Stewart Allen.
Funhouse Lounge, 9:30pm, $5-8
Los Tigres del Norte
What I will always appreciate from my experience working in the kitchen of a tiny Mexican restaurant is the beautiful music that blared from the local Spanish language radio station. Through the cloud of banging pots, shrill commercials, and my limited Spanish vocabulary, I eventually realized that only six songs were playing in constant rotation, and no less than four of those were by a group called Los Tigres Del Norte. I remember their signature cumbia-meets-polka rhythm infectiously pairing with unmistakable vocal harmonies and soul-tickling accordion work. The fact that I didn’t understand the linguistic intricacies of their dramatic operas was of little consequence because the sentiment was so pure. Los Tigres have been spreading this powerful norteño vibration over countless albums and nearly half a century performing, creating a fanbase that’s made them living legends in the world of Latino music. CHRIS SUTTON
Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 8pm, $35-85
Rack & Cloth Pop-Up
The Mosier-based cidery brings a slew of taps down the Columbia for a special one-night pop-up event at Rev. Nat's. Enjoy eight taps of Rack & Cloth cider, including three one-offs which have never made it off the farm. A farmstand will also be on hand selling the farm's award-winning peaches (used in pFriem's Peche Lambic), as well as veggies, flowers, eggs, and growlers to go.
Rev Nat's Cidery & Taproom, 4pm
Fitz & the Tantrums
Yet another case study in the old lesson that you shouldn’t let a band’s success stand in the way of taking them seriously. This massively talented group offers a rich marriage of soul, rock, dancehall, and pop sounds, and puts on a dazzling, energetic show. It’s a pleasure to see a band work this hard for your good time. SEAN NELSON
Oregon Zoo, 7pm, $30-60, all ages
Centaurpalooza
Centaur Guitar celebrates ten years of free shows for local bands in the ample parking lot of their store with a three day blowout so big it spills over into next-door Katie O'Brien's.
Katie O'Brien's, 8pm, free
Kool Stuff Katie, The Exorcists, Ellis Burnheart, Anther
As long as Portland-based band Kool Stuff Katie consists of a male guitar player and a female drummer, and the two of them play fuzzy rock 'n' roll, they will have to endure comparisons to a certain beloved, candy-striped duo from the not-so-distant past. But whereas that other band drew heavily from the blues and glowered its way to superstardom, Kool Stuff Katie—Shane Blem and Saren Oliver, who came together via Craigslist—play an exuberant brand of classic power-pop that marries Oliver's crash-and-bash beats with Blem's chunky, buzzy guitar riffs. BEN SALMON
(The World Famous) Kenton Club, 9pm, free
Mic Crenshaw, Karma Rivera, DJ Klavical
Mic Crenshaw is a veteran emcee and staple of the Portland hiphop scene, having performed as a member of Hungry Mob, Cleveland Steamers, and Suckapunch. RYAN FEIGH
The Know, 8pm
Wonderland
A new configuration of old sketch comedy favorites in a showcase for twisted ridiculousness, featuring practiced purveyors of absurdity Jason Rouse, Lori Ferraro, Ted Douglass, Andrew Harris, and Tony St. Clair.
Siren Theater, 7:30pm, $18-25
Turtlenecked, Boreen, Mo Troper & The Assumptions, James Curry IV
William Harrison plays an all ages record release show for his pop-art punk project Turtlenecked's newest album, Pure Plush Bone Cage. Also read our story on Turtlenecked.
Clinton Street Theater, 7pm
Badlands
Terrence Malick's first film, from 1973, starring Martin Sheen and Sissy Spacek. Romantic and creepy and gorgeous, it's a better film than most directors ever make. Malick used it as a starting point. ERIK HENRIKSEN
Fifth Avenue Cinema, 7pm, 9:30pm, $2-4
Saturday, Aug 20
13th Annual Hot Dog Eating Contest
You won't win the Zach's Shack Hot Dog Eating Contest. You won't even place. But you don't enter the thing for victory. No, you're plunking down $10 to gorge yourself on entrails for 10 minutes because life can't always be pleasant and beautiful. It needs pain. It yearns for nausea. (To be fair, you can get those same sensations from the safety of the audience.) DIRK VANDERHART
Zach's Shack, 4pm
PDX Adult Soapbox Derby
Behold one of the last true Portland traditions that hasn’t been ruined. It’s the PDX Adult Soapbox Derby, where thousands of onlookers watch Portland’s most creative people race crazy, homemade soapbox derby cars down Mt. Tabor’s dangerous and twisty track. (Oh, and drink beer.) While some of these contraptions are built for speed, most are non-motorized art cars dressed up to look like Winnebagos, beauty parlors, cruise ships, slugs, UFOs, monsters—if you can dream it up, these crazy kooks have probably raced it down the hill. Don’t miss it, Portland newtimers! Because the Adult Soapbox Derby is what the true spirit of this city is all about. WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY
Mt. Tabor Park, 10am, free, all ages
Sam Coomes, Marisa Anderson, Clarke & the Himselfs
Bugger Me is Sam Coomes’ solo debut, but he’s a Portland scene stalwart—perhaps you’re familiar with Quasi, his duo with Janet Weiss of Sleater-Kinney. The record’s minimalist pop stretches its legs into some buzzy experimental territory, but remains inescapably catchy with lounge lizard-y organ and Coomes’ impatient drawl. CIARA DOLAN Also read our story on Sam Coomes.
Bunk Bar, 9pm, $10
Family Pictures: Clash of the Titans
The Hollywood Theatre's all-ages movie series. This week: Clash of the Titans! Not the shitty remake, but the shitty original, with a perpetually dumbfounded Harry Hamlin (the original Henry Cavill) staring at all of Ray Harryhausen's amazing stop-motion miracles like "I am in no way worthy to share a screen with this magnificence, but I can find comfort in the companionship of my friend Bubo the Robot Owl Who is Absolutely Not Intended to Cash In on Artoo-Detoo's Popularity No Sir!" BOBBY ROBERTS
Hollywood Theatre, 2:30pm, $3-6, all ages
Federale, Tiburones
Portland's own Federale carries the torch of Ennio Morricone high, with a swarming, psychedelic, orchestral sound that'll splatter spaghetti sauce all over your cowboy boots. NED LANNAMANN Also read our review of Federale’s All the Colours of the Dark
Mississippi Studios, 9pm, $12
Demi Lovato, Nick Jonas
There have been a few things written in recent weeks lamenting the lack of an obvious “song of the summer” for 2016. If that’s the case, I move we hold over last year’s definitive summertime anthem, Demi Lovato’s steamy paean to seasonal Sapphic flings, “Cool for the Summer.” It’s the little details that make the vibrant pop song an enduring jam, even a year later: the horror-flick piano intro, the savage riff that kicks in for the pre-chorus, the little synth bloop that bubbles up just ahead of the chorus, the curvaceous way Demi sings, “body tyyyyyyyyype.” OMG, this song, you guys—it’s so awesome, it deserves two summers! Anyway, Lovato has done plenty before and since, but when she takes the stage at Moda Center tonight, it’s “Cool for the Summer” I’ll be anticipating. (Well, and “Give Your Heart a Break.”) Lovato’s fellow former-teen-star-turned-sultry-adult Nick Jonas will be there, too. BEN SALMON
Moda Center, 7pm, $29.95-89.95, all ages
Distillery Row Birthday Beach Party
The eight distilleries on the row decided August 20 would be as good a day as any to transform their liquor-filled fiefdom into a beach, so as to properly enjoy a beach party, with live music, food carts, spirits, and cocktails.
House Spirits Distillery, 6pm, free
Cheena, Rixe, Mommy, Urochromes, Criminal
Cheena is a band that loves New York, the ’70s, and having long hair. If you love those things too, you’ll probably love Cheena! There isn’t much complexity to the NYC rock band, but their firm grasp on what they like about ’70s Lower East Side rock compensates for a lack of cutting edge. It’s raucous and fun, the perfect party music for dudes in tight denim who don’t quite get King Tuff. A noticeable lack of pretension sets Cheena apart from many other bands on their label, Sacred Bones, a collective of many musicians who are talented, but shrouded in art-house superiority. This pure-and-simple rock ’n’ roll band keeps Sacred Bones down to earth and shows that Cheena has appeal beyond rockabilly throwback enthusiasts MORGAN TROPER
Black Water Bar, 7pm, all ages
LoveBomb Go-Go, DJ Anjali & The Incredible Kid, Brownish Black
Sometimes you need a break from all the terrible news in the world. Sometimes you need to pause from all the name-calling and fear mongering that is American politics. Sometimes, damn it, you just want to dance. Tonight, friends, is for you. Local garage-soul band Brownish Black kicks things off, followed by the West Coast’s king and queen of bhangra/global bass/Bollywood dance parties, DJ Anjali and the Incredible Kid. Headlining tonight’s bill is Portland’s premier glam-punk marching band, LoveBomb Go-Go. With their silver uniforms, tin helmets, steampunk goggles, and glitter paint, they could, for all intents and purposes, be Burning Man’s official marching band. But whether on the damp streets of Portland or in the scorched hell of the Playa, LoveBomb Go-Go—along with everyone else on tonight’s bill—have the cure for your damn-it-I-just-want-to-dance blues. SANTI ELIJAH HOLLEY
Doug Fir, 9pm, $10-14
Lo and Behold: Reveries of the Connected World
As a filmmaker, Werner Herzog is often obsessed with the tangible—with people on the edges of society, with feats as lethal as they are daring. But Lo and Behold is Herzog’s attempt to parse a world that’s moving away from the physical. It makes sense he starts his documentary by reminding us that the internet started as—and still is—a series of weird-smelling tubes and wires. It also makes sense, given the immeasurable ways the internet has affected humanity, Lo and Behold splits in countless directions: It isn’t long until Herzog’s interviewing brain researchers and hackers, until he’s watching orange-clad Buddhist monks stare into their phones. If this parade of scientists and eccentrics and weirdos sounds broad, it is: Herzog wants to look at every aspect of our online lives. Lo and Behold is a look at what might come next, and a mourning for what we’ve lost, but more than anything, it’s a meditation on how the internet has already changed us. ERIK HENRIKSEN
Hollywood Theatre, 2pm, 7pm, 9:15pm, $9
Rock Against the TPP: Anti-Flag, Makana, Danbert Nobacon, Downtown Boys, Naima, Sihasin, Taina Asili, Ryan Harvey, Son of Nun, Bell's Roar, Evan Greer
The nationwide protest tour stops in Portland, with appearances by Evangeline Lilly and Hari Kondabolu alongside performances by Anti-Flag, Makana, Downtown Boys, and more.
Director Park, 5pm, free w/ rsvp
The Body, Full of Hell, Thrones, Ruminant
As a kid who cut her teeth on heavy music almost entirely via cramped basement shows and strangers’ living rooms, there’s a certain indescribable quality about those memories. The culmination of elements that make these moments memorable—static heat, sweat, stale beers, music so loud you feel it in your jaw—is rightfully difficult to replicate in recorded music, but that’s what locals the Body and Maryland/Pennsylvania’s Full of Hell have managed to do with their collaborative album, One Day You Will Ache Like I Ache. This tour features both bands performing together as one chaotic, heavy, bone-rattling organism. This seems like the perfect time to be reminded of the cleansing properties of harsh, grimy noise. JENNA FLETCHER
The Know, 8pm
Gold Panda, Beacon, Baba Ali
What do you do at a live show when you’re used to fucking and/or fucking around the house to the music being played? I guess there are always the people who slowly grind into one another. That’s one thing you can do. They’re still doing it better than people who get down to music with lyrics. British EDM composer Gold Panda based his latest record, Good Luck and Do Your Best, on “ganbatte kudasai,” an extremely common Japanese expression said to him by a train conductor while he was traveling. Compared to his past records, Lucky Shiner and Half of Where You Live, Gold Panda’s Four Tet-esque glitchy sound collages reach more melodic heights this time around, capturing the loneliness, awe, and dislocation of travel alongside the glow of homecoming. SUZETTE SMITH
Holocene, 9pm, $16
9th Annual Corgi Walk in the Pearl
While this event is notable for its fundraising, having given tens thousands of dollars to the Oregon Humane Society over the years, it is primarily known for causing passersby and onlookers to keel over from the concentrated amounts of stumpy-legged adorableness just smiling and bounding all over downtown.
NW Park & NW Everett, 10am, $25 to join the walk, free to watch until you overdose on cute
Mark Normand
An evening of stand-up with the New York-based comedian who has appeared on Conan and Inside Amy Schumer, and was voted Village Voice's "Best Comedian of 2013."
Helium Comedy Club, 7:30pm, 10pm, $15-23
Super Duper Video! A Psychedelic Puppet Show
Magic Society presents a celebration of the weird in puppet form, hosted by Buddy and Friday Hangs, featuring live puppetry, live music, and screenings of rare puppet films from all over the world.
Hollywood Theatre, 9:30pm, $9
Projection of B-Format Signal Set Waves: Ben Glas, Justine Highsmith, Jesse Mejía, CM Schneider, Anita Spaeth, Visible Cloaks, wndfrm
There are some wonderful things happening in the deepest corners of North Portland these days. Just a few weeks ago, the Modular on the Spot crew held a live performance of synth instrumentals in Cathedral Park. This weekend, that same location will be host to an all-day art event organized by musician C.M. Schneider that will, via a six-speaker PA system, fill the space with sounds created by an array of local musicians. While the existence of this one-day project is exciting, the folks involved—including Visible Cloaks, minimalist decomposition genius Justine Highsmith, and multimedia artist Anita Spaeth—only adds to the thrill of it all. ROBERT HAM
Cathedral Park, 10am, free
Montavilla Jazz Festival
It makes sense that in order to hear local jazz musicians pushing the envelope, you have to venture to the edge of the city's envelope, as the Portland Metro Arts Center hosts artists such as George Colligan, Dan Balmer, Jessika Smith, Jeff Baker, Gordon Lee and more for two-days of improvisational adventure.
Portland Metro Arts Center, 3pm
Classical Revolution PDX: Music from Hell
The Portland-based alternative-classical group takes you on a tour through hell with performances of works from Shostakovich and Stravinsky, a fire-spinning cello-burlesque combo, Gregorian chant on electric harp, and the devil himself playing piano, plus a performance by the classical goth band This Twilight Orchestra, and music from DJ Kiran Moorty. Hosted by Carla Rossi.
Dante's, 8pm, $10
Blow Pony
The queer-centric dance night settles into its new home with performances from MicahTron and Bomb Ass Pussy. Hosted by Tammie Brown.
Bossanova Ballroom, 9pm, $7
Jade International Night Market
Portland’s international community has got it going on in a big way, and a great place to see it in glorious action is the third annual Jade Night Market event. Expect tons of entertainment (such as Chinese traditional and Bollywood dance), music from various countries, crafts, and delicious multicultural eats from your fave restaurants on 82nd Ave and beyond! Support this underserved community, and get a lot of fun in return.
Portland Community College (Southeast Campus), 5pm, free, all ages
Sunday, Aug 21
Sunday Brunch with Poison Waters
If you have not experienced the joy of a Poison Waters performance, you have not lived. Poison is one of Portland’s preeminent drag queens, and if you pair her with more of her drag pals, a breakfast brunch, mimosas, AND a screening of the classic 1985 hit The Breakfast Club? DEAR GOD. Why don’t you already have tickets? WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY
Mission Theater, 10:30am, $21
Chunky Dunk
Everybody should feel welcome to enjoy a refreshing dip in a pool during these blazing-hot days. But some folks dread swimsuit season. Not at Chunky Dunk, where you can enjoy the great outdoor Peninsula Pool with an organization that promotes shame-free swimming for everyone. Celebrate body positivity and floating with your friends at this last big splash before summer ends. COURTNEY FERGUSON
Peninsula Park, 5:15pm, $5, all ages
Mic Capes, Rasheed Jamal, Maze Koroma
Any chance you get to see Mic Capes perform for free, YOU GO. It’s become pretty clear he’s going places, so you may as well enjoy him live while he’s cheap. For the lucky souls who do show up, you’re gonna hear these “Razor Tongue” bars loud and clear. Last week Capes invited a select crowd to a listening party for his long-awaited album Concrete Dreams, a cohesive 20-track project that offers a detailed and thorough glimpse into his soul. No spoilers yet, but at the end of the party he premiered a cool new visual for a bonus track from the album called “Fessenden Flow.” The free show at Rontoms also features super-solid emcee Rasheed Jamal and Maze Koroma of EYRST. These three young lyricists are making Portland hip-hop look good, and it’ll be pretty priceless to watch them stun a packed house of hipsters. JENNI MOORE
Rontoms, 8pm, free
Kumoricon Lite
A special one-day-only version of the anime festival, presented as sort of a "sampler" for the much larger, manga-stuffed main event later this fall. Admission is free with donation of three volumes of manga, and the mini-fest will include panels, events, signings, performances, and of course, some of the best cosplayers in the Pacific Northwest.
Oregon Convention Center, 10am, $10
Electric Summer PDX
What was once a simple BBQ and potluck for members of the food service industry in Northeast Portland is now, seven years later, an all-day blow out food festival and dance party, featuring dishes and cocktails created by some of Portland's finest chefs and drink mixers, with 10 hours of music from some of the city's best DJs.
White Owl Social Club, $10, 3pm
Kubo and the Two Strings
There was a bit of a lull after Laika’s 2009 feature debut Coraline, but the local animation studio has once again nailed it with its new release Kubo and the Two Strings. The stop-motion visuals are beyond breathtaking, the scenery is effing majestic, and the characters are likeable in this hero’s journey set in ancient Japan. The film’s emotional heart and mythic, fantastical proportions make it a perfect blend of sweet and strange. COURTNEY FERGUSON
Various Theaters, see Movie Times for showtimes and locations
Racist Sandwich
A live recording of Soleil Ho and Zahir Janmohamed's hit podcast about the intersection of race, identity, and food in the Pacific Northwest, with special guest Bertony Faustin, the only Black winery owner in Oregon. Also read our story on the Racist Sandwich podcast.
Abbey Creek Vineyard & Winery, 1pm
71st Annual Banks BBQ Truck & Tractor Pull
They do it up kinda crazy out Banks way. There's your typical festival fare—pancake breakfasts, car shows, kids games, beer gardens. But then there's a full-fledged poker tournament. And then there's some old-timey wild west quick draw competitions. And then they fire up a bunch of goddamned farm threshers and combines, and have a destruction derby with 'em. You can fill your face with pancakes, get tipsy, clean out some rubes at cards, and then watch combines smash into each other all day long. That's one hell of a weekend, aint it?
Banks Sunset Park, 7am, $5-30, all ages
Dan Dan, Human, Stroller, Grapefruit
A love letter to Pittsburgh synth duo Zombi, Portland band Dan Dan is a soundtrack-y prog trio with NO VOCALS. Do not even try to expect vocals. Just be chill—but also full of high-tempo energy, like Dan Dan. SUZETTE SMITH
Turn! Turn! Turn!, 8pm
Becky Robinson
Becky Robinson is a Los Angeles-via-Portland comedian, actress, writer, and producer who has worked on Comedy Central's Not Safe with Nikki Glaser and MTV's Wild 'N Out. Catch Robinson tonight when she brings her stand-up act back home for a special one night show at Helium.
Helium Comedy Club, 7:30pm, $12
Batman
While there's been decades worth of live-action superheroics on the big screen since Tim Burton's 1989 blockbuster shaved itself into the back of your little brother's head, there's still a special something about Batman that nobody's been able to replicate since. Having Jack Nicholson go apeshit with a clotheshanger shoved in his mouth definitely helps on that front, but for all the corniness and dated decoration curling up around the edges, there's a still-propulsive, still-mesmerizing, still-fucking-awesome blend of character, design, and action at the center. You can see why executives decided they needed to get back in the superhero game... and you can also see how they learned every wrong lesson along the way, too. BOBBY ROBERTS
Academy Theater, 4:40pm, 9:30pm, $3-4