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Things To Do This Week!
Things to do for Jul 18-21 by Bobby Roberts What good is a week if you confine all the fun you can have to roughly 20-plus hours at the very end of it (minus any downtime spent sleeping and/or...
View ArticleGood Morning, News: Three Baton Rouge Cops Shot, GOP Convention Begins, and...
by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! As long as I can love you down, baby, just be my man. That's all that mattered to me. LET'S GO TO PRESS.The Bundy Bros (from the Malheur Refuge...
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Timbers Roll Over Seattle in Sumptuous Style
by Abe Asher Craig Mitchelldyer/Portland TimbersSome days, you get the park and wonder if your team is going to have enough. On Wednesday night against Montreal, for instance, the Portland Timbers...
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Captain Fantastic Cares Not for Your "Warm Showers" Or Your "iPhones" Or Your...
by Elinor Jones I have dreamt that it might be possible to raise my child in the woods, off the grid, to spare her this modern cultural hellscape filled with guns and Trumps. The fictitious Cash...
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Hello, Cleveland! We're on the Ground at the RNC.
by Heidi Groover We'll be slogging all week from Cleveland. HGWe arrived in Cleveland last night and tried to get the lay of the land. What we found: Lots of journalists, lots of cops, and not much...
View ArticleSavage Love Letter of the Day: My Touchy-Feely Potential Fiancé
by Dan Savage I'm a bisexual, hetero-amorous 38-year-old single mom of two boys, and six months ago, I got back together with a 50-year-old man I am head-over-heels in love with. He had been recently...
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PPS Superintendent Carole Smith Now Says She'll Retire ASAP
by Dirk VanderHart Portland Public Schools' search for a new leader begin now—unexpectedly. In a surprise announcement this morning PPS Superintendent Carole Smith announced she'll formally leave the...
View ArticleDon't Hug Portland
by Anonymous I own a bar in Eastmorland and most of the customers are our friends. You came in and were served by a friendly bartender. Who gave you a hug.......and then you stuck around for at least...
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Timbers Sell Adam Kwarasey Back to Norway
by Abe Asher Craig Mitchelldyer/Portland TimbersProfessional sports is a tough racket. You have to perform week in and week out in order to stay employed, but even if you do that, you can't get hurt....
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Move Over, Burnside 26! The New Apartment Building You'll Love to Hate is the...
by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey Courtesy CraigslistYou've seen this behemoth perched on the Burnside Bridgehead, and now the YARD is advertising one bedroom apartments (available Aug 1) for the low, low price...
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Donald Trump's Ghostwriter: The Man's a "Sociopath"
by Matt Baume Are we 100% sure Donald Trump is a human being and not a child's party balloon come to life?Joseph Sohm / Shutterstock.comThe day after Donald Trump threw himself a lavish party to...
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Scott Baio's Path to RNC Glory
by Sean Nelson If his work in Skatetown USA is any indication, Baio is certain to be a commanding public speakerTinseltown/ShutterstockIf you're of a certain age and you see a headline that reads...
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Meet the Guy Who Says He Can Make $1,000 a Day Selling Trump Merch
by Heidi Groover Steve Scanlon, who's in Cleveland from Connecticut for the RNC, says he keeps Mace with him in case anyone tries to steal or destroy his pro-Trump merchandise. HG"Why Trump?" I ask...
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Advance Base Paints Curious Portraits of Fictional Lives
by Joshua James Amberson ADVANCE BASE Musical short stories.Jeffrey MariniOWEN ASHWORTH has written songs about bank robbers, obsessive recluses, and small-town riot grrrls. In his songs, Ashworth's...
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Good Morning, News: Superintendent Splits, Trump's Wife Plagiarizes, and Bike...
by Dirk VanderHart The big news, locally, is that Portland Public Schools Superintendent Carole Smith essentially bounced herself from any further involvement with the district yesterday, right after...
View ArticleEntitled Neighbors
by Anonymous You all want the "dilapidated" building I live in torn down because you want a donut shop or cafe in it's place. Some even mini orgasmed at the idea of a new season. You say it's rat and...
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You Know the Rules and So Do I: The Best Tweets From the Melania...
The Best Tweets From the Melania Trump-Michelle Obama Plagiarism Scandal by Tricia Romano Mere hours after the third Ms. Trump took the stage at the Republican National Convention in Cleveland,...
View ArticleSavage Love Letter of the Day: My 13-Year-Old Son Is Watching Gay Porn
by Dan Savage Just wondering what the wisest way to handle discovering gay porn on my son’s phone would be. At the moment he’s not aware I’ve found it—and I wasn’t looking for it, Dan. I wasn’t...
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The Bachelorette Recap: Episode 8 - Less Horses, More Hometowns, Still Some...
by Campy Draper Your hair smells like a nightmare I had once. Courtesy of ABC/Carl CostasTonight’s Bachelorette was crazy! Is it me or does JoJo suddenly look like an expelled can of cheez whiz with a...
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We Put Biketown to the Test on Mt. Tabor. It Got Us to the Top—Eventually
by Dirk VanderHart Natalie BehringI’M NOT EVEN close to Mt. Tabor yet when it becomes apparent: This will be unpleasant. It’s a humid Thursday, threatening rain, and I’ve just gotten leave from...
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