I Love Fireworks!!!
by Anonymous Dude! They rawk! Because they're bad for the environment, annoy other people, trigger people with PTSD and terrify dogs! But best of all they go "BOOOOOOM!!!"I love a really loud noise...
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The Legend of Tarzan: Wherefore Art Thou, Phil Collins?
by Morgan Troper This is not Phil Collins.The source material might be more than a century old, but for many people my age, The Legend of Tarzan will feel like a live-action sequel to Disney's 1999...
View ArticleCoffee Price Gouging
by Anonymous Well looks like the rise in rents has started having a trickle down effect on precious commodities, namely house coffees served at local cafes. The minimum I've seen is a 25 ct spike, not...
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Timbers v. Colorado Match Preview
by Abe Asher Ron Chenoy-USA TODAY SportsMake no mistake: Monday night's July 4th tilt between the Colorado Rapids and Portland Timbers isn't about the Timbers. Instead, with Tim Howard set to make his...
View ArticleProvide your next sex partner with a thesaurus
by Anonymous Dear person I met on OKCupid and dated:When it comes to matters of the heart, it is nicer to be simple in your blow off, rather than writing some text with obscure vocabulary. I was...
View ArticleBindipendence Day
by Anonymous Thank you for the lovely BBQ on this glorious day of our independence. I would like to say that I came into this with the understanding that you might "like" Indian culture, but boy, was...
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Good Morning, News: Earth Takes Jupiter, Police Chief Problems, and Trump's...
by Dirk VanderHart PDX fireworks display kicks off in downtown Portland @fox12oregonpic.twitter.com/HBlhSDwrIH— Amber Diaz (@AmberDiazFOX12) July 5, 2016Happy 5th of July, Portland. Please god tell me...
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Things To Do This Week!
Things to do for July 5-7 by Bobby Roberts Whew! Hell of a Fourth of July weekend, right? All the parties, and fireworks, and barbecue, and having to clean up the recycled barbecue under the bed via...
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Republican Cakesniffer Likes Donald Trump, Won't Say Why
by Matt Baume You know he's done when a toothpick comes out clean.Albert H. Teich / Shutterstock.comHere we have Republican cakeboi Tom Cotton, struggling to avoid a question about Donald Trump like a...
View ArticleSavage Love Letter of the Day: Man 4 Woman Annoyed @ Men 4 Men
by Dan Savage My wife and I have an open relationship. It works, we're happy — but that's not what my question is about. We're both cool with other people, but we're discreet about it, and we've...
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Timbers Have Plenty To Celebrate In Colorado Draw
by Abe Asher Colorado RapidsIt was supposed to be one of the biggest days in the history of the Colorado Rapids. Somewhat surreally sitting in first place in the Western Conference, the Rapids had a...
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All American Recap: Portland Thorns vs. Sky Blue FC
by Erin O'Regan Either the Thorns just scored another goal or Gary is trying dairy again. Pee-ewPhoto courtesy Portland Thorns FCI know it seems like I am repeating myself, but the Thorns remain...
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Hopworks to Open New Brewpub in Vancouver
by Brian Yaeger New HUB under constructionSiteworksBecause beer lovers, biker riders, and families live in Vancouver, Washington, too, the brewpub chain popular with all three demographics (especially...
View ArticleGood morning shitbirds.
by Anonymous I took the "liberty" of collecting all the spent fireworks garbage you and the rest of your backwards hatted friends left in the street, and dumping it onto your driveway.I'm sure there...
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Trump Campaign Spamming Foreign Leaders for Donations
by Matt Baume Take that, miscreant.a katz / Shutterstock.comHe's not even president yet, but Donald Trump is already making himself quite a pest to foreign leaders. According to various international...
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Now Republicans Want to Punish Democrats for That Gun Control Sit-in
by Eli Sanders With the Republican e-mail investigation over, the Republican sit-in investigation begins.Rob Crandall / Shutterstock.comThis definitely sounds like a great use of government time and...
View ArticleWatch Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama on Stage Together in North Carolina
by Christopher Frizzelle If you "care" about the email "scandal," well, knock yourself out. I'm too busy watching Hillary and Barack onstage together today to join you. Here's a flavor—including the...
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New Police Chief Mike Marshman Has Released His Full Personnel File, and An...
by Dirk VanderHart Mike Marshman before he was sworn in as police chief last week. Mike Marshman's been police chief for eight days, and he's already releasing a criminal investigation into...
View ArticleThings to Do Music
Noteworthy shows for the week of July 6-12 {{ image:3 }} WEDNESDAY 7/6LITTLE TYBEE, THE MONDEGREENS, THE FOURTH WALL (Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside) Over the past several years, more than enough indie-folk...
View ArticleThe New Chief Speaks
We asked Mike Marshman about his policing philosophy and how he lost part of his trigger finger. by Dirk VanderHart MIKE MARSHMAN'S first memory in life is a bloody stump—the nasty product of sticking...
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