Avoid The Downtown Crown
by Anonymous The day began like any other day at that downtown hotel restaurant: coffee cups cleaned and aprons tightened; silverware settings straightened and tensions heightened. The pace had been...
View ArticleBabbling Buffoons
by Anonymous What is it with the 60 year old men in this city?You all look alike. You all have gray facial hair and a pot belly. You all wear hats. You all smell like an ashtray Worst of all, you all...
View ArticleMeek Computer Geek Reeks
by Anonymous If you all haven't heard about the old Right-wing white guy in Lake Oswego (Kevin Kerwin), you should check him out. He's name-calling Liberals (typical right-wing behavior) and...
View ArticleGood Morning, News: Sessions Confirmation Hearing, Trump's Nepotism, and...
by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! Thugs give good loving (oh). Whoa, you're supersonic. The way he treats me different, oh, like he bionic. LET'S GO TO PRESS.In case you missed our news...
View Article"Perhaps It Is Trump Who Is The Loser???"— You
by Anonymous I keep seeing headlines about how sad Trump is, how he has no famous friends, how he's weak, how he's thin-skinned, how he only won because Russia leaked the Podesta emails. But consider...
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Jeff Sessions Dodges Question About Whether He'll Go After Legalized Weed
by Rich Smith Still not sure what time it is on weed's doomsday clock.The Stranger During the Senate hearing to nominate Jeff Sessions as Attorney General, Senator Leahy of Vermont asked if Sessions...
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Rex Tillerson to Humans: You Must Adapt to Global Warming
by Charles Mudede "A cloud of pollution [caused by capitalism] hangs over the Eastern United States..."NASAIn 2012, Rex Tillerson, ExxonMobil's CEO, and Trump's pick for the next Secretary of State,...
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Intelligence Chiefs Informed Trump of Russian Plan to Compromise Him
by Megan Burbank istock / macidaJust when you thought the worst political news was happening at Jeff "I Don't Know What Sexual Assault Is" Sessions'confirmation hearing. Here's CNN, from an article...
View ArticleIntel Chiefs to President-Elect: Um, Dude, the Russians Have a Compromising...
by Dan Savage What was that, CNN?Classified documents presented last week to President Obama and President-elect Trump included allegations that Russian operatives claim to have compromising personal...
View ArticleSobriety Sweeps Service Industry
Sobriety is sweeping the Portland service industry. by Heather Arndt Anderson WE'RE WELL INTO the first month of 2017, a time when many people elect to clean up their acts. Regular folks like me, who...
View ArticleGrass and the Gridiron
Cannabis could help NFL players with work-related injuries, but the league prohibits it. by Vince Sliwoski Can NFL playersuse weed to treat their work-related injuries?NO. THE NFL prohibits its...
View ArticleSold Out
Valentine’s Day is coming... do you have your lingerie? by Elizabeth Mollo VALENTINE’S DAY is not too far away, and that particular holiday is synonymous with flowers, candy, and more importantly,...
View ArticleSavage Love
Clubbing by Dan Savage My partner and Ihave been playing with male chastity devices. We've been considering going to a strip club while his cock is caged up and getting him lap dances. Is there some...
View ArticleCanna News for 2017
City bureau shakeups, canna dollars, and CBD across the pond. by Josh Jardine HAPPY 2017! If your New Year’s resolution is to stay more up to date with all that’s happening in the world of cannabis,...
View ArticleOne Day at a Time
Hey celebs! Climb inside my garbage hole! by Ann Romano MONDAY, JANUARY 2SABOTAGE! That’s what Mariah Carey’s manager is screaming following Mimi’s devastatingly embarrassing performance on Dick...
View ArticleNew Column!
Hey Republicans! Hulk got great idea for new health plan! by The Incredible Hulk As puny human know, HULK POOR AS DIRT. Price of living too high! Plus Hulk get fired (again!) from Forever 21! So Hulk...
View ArticleThe Ben Affleck Wheel of Fortune!
So... which Ben Affleck Made Live by Night? by Ned Lannamann O, FORTUNA! Your capricious wheel of fate brings us mortals to greatest highs and most miserable lows as we rotate, ever onward, through...
View ArticleHail to the Bus Driver
Riding along with Jim Jarmusch’s Paterson. by Erik Henriksen “THERE ARE NO POETS that were ever in it for the money,” Jim Jarmusch recently told British film magazine Little White Lies. “Nobody makes...
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Things To Do Film
This week: a Friday the 13th double feature, Reel Music, and a Studio Ghibli retrospective. by Mercury Staff The Blob Steve McQueen stars in this 1958 horror classic about ravenous slime bent on...
View ArticleThe Moonlit and Melancholy Indie-Pop of Dear Nora’s Mountain Rock
Portland’s Katy Davidson returns as Dear Nora to reissue her 2004 cult classic, Mountain Rock. by Ben Salmon {{ image:1, align:right, width:200 }} RIGHT NOW, it feels like we need the winsome,...
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