Hello, Baby New Year!WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 31
MUSIC—Portland's soul maestro, Ural Thomas, rings in 2015 with his hot-ticket backing band, the Pain. That should be enough to ensure that you'll start the year on the right foot, but with a bill that includes roots-rock shredders Houndstooth and DJs Cooky Parker and Bobby D spinning the hits, it could be enough fun to last you all year. NL
Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi, 9 pm, $25-30
COMEDY/MUSIC—Are you an introvert who finds New Year's Eve and its requisite traditions (bandage dresses, dancing, godawful noisemakers) utterly baffling? You are not alone! If you'd rather stay in with cats and Netflix than go to a party, here's a party for you: New Year's Geek, with comedy from Mercury-approved Barbara Holm and John Hodgman-approved Joseph Scrimshaw, and tunes from noted party eschewers the Doubleclicks. MB
Brody Theater, 16 NW Broadway, 10:30 pm, $15-18
THURSDAY, JANUARY 1
SPORTS!—There's a solid argument to be made that college football is exploitative and should be either drastically changed or done away with entirely. None of that matters on this, the first day of 2015, because the Oregon Ducks are about to stomp the undefeated Seminoles of Florida State in the Rose Bowl, and move a step closer to a national championship. And you can watch pantsless! DVH
Pasadena, California, or alternatively, any place with a TV, 2 pm, FREE
HANGOVER BRUNCH—Maybe we should rethink this tradition of bidding farewell to the old year by drinking our fool faces off. Yeah, right. Soothe your aching noggin with a hearty brunch at Kelly's Olympian. They're here for you, and so are the VJs of Eye Candy, who'll be delivering your favorite music videos from eras past straight into your bloodshot eyes. CF
Kelly's Olympian, 426 SW Washington, noon, FREE
FRIDAY, JANUARY 2
FILM—Argue about which version of Blade Runner is the best all you want, but here's the thing: All versions of Blade Runner are great. The Hollywood's got Ridley Scott's director's cut playing—on 35mm!—which means that the best way to start off 2015 might be revisiting the dark, rainy dystopia of 2019. EH
Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy, see Movie Times at portlandmercury.com/movietimes, $8
DANCE PARTY—Finally! We can all focus less on gluttony and more on fitness, and perhaps the very best way to shimmy off extra holiday cheer is with the sweat of a dance party. DJ Cooky Parker's In the Cooky Jar is one of the most reliable ways to whip up a soulful, calorie-torching froth. MS
w/Beyondadoubt, Nick Waterhouse; Eagles Lodge, 4904 SE Hawthorne, 9 pm, $5
SATURDAY, JANUARY 3
MUSIC—Last January, Dead Moon rose from the grave to play gems like "It's Okay" and "54/40 or Fight" at a one-off reunion show. And thank the fates, tonight the legendary garage-punkers do it again. Here's your chance to see Fred, Toody, and Andrew play some of the greatest rock 'n' roll songs ever written. NL
w/Long Knife, Drawingboard; Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside, 8 pm, $20, all ages
COMEDY—Jay Leno thinks Cameron Esposito is "the future of comedy," and for once, we agree with him. The brilliant LA-based stand-up delivers some of the funniest comedy around. She's got a new album out on Kill Rock Stars, but wouldn't you rather see her in person? Perhaps her genius jokes and side-mullet (the white whale of asymmetrical haircuts) will rub off on you. MB
Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi, 7 & 10 pm, $15
SUNDAY, JANUARY 4
MUSIC—A double bill of Portland's finest rock 'n' roll awaits you tonight at Rontoms. There's Gaytheist, whose splendidly heavy sugar-metal will have you grinning ear to ear, and there's Divers, whose ragged-but-right heart-on-sleeve anthems will make your heart soar. You've never been so alive. NL
Rontoms, 600 E Burnside, 9 pm, FREE
HOCKEY—No one likes the first dreary day back to work in January—the beginning of the rest of winter, with nothing to distract you from the sad mess you've made of your life. Celebrate your last day of break with semi-pro hockey—the Winterhawks take on their hated rivals from Seattle—and see what it means to fight for dignity. (Or just get drunk one last time.) DCT
Moda Center, 1 Center Ct, 5 pm, $15-60, all ages
MONDAY, JANUARY 5
BLAZERS—New year! Same white-hot blinding hate! It's the (not-really-all-that-reciprocal) rivalry that'll never die: Blazers vs. Lakers is a great excuse to give into provincial basketball bloodlust, especially since Los Angeles sucks this year. So it should be fun. Unless we lose, but that can't happen. Right? BR
Moda Center, 1 Center Ct, 7 pm, $25 & up, all ages
KARAOKE—Sure, you have many karaoke venues to choose from... however, we find it necessary to remind you of the always fun Karaokefrom Hell—still the only place you can sing in front of a live band (while not wasting your life by forming a live band). They'll make you sound like a superstar, and you will receive free Voodoo Doughnuts. Top that, every other venue in the world. WSH
Dante's, 350 W Burnside, 10 pm, $3
TUESDAY, JANUARY 6
MUSIC—Holy Waxahatchee! This special cheap show is bound to be packed for Katie Crutchfield's affecting, folky project Waxahatchee. The cozy Doug Fir will be burbling over with her sweet-sounding emotional songs of stripped-bare beauty. If you ever been overcome with wintry heartsick sadness, this singer/songwriter's for you. CF
w/the Ghost Ease, Us Lights; Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside, 9 pm, $12 ($3 w/RSVP to redbullsoundselect.com)
MUSIC—Today, Pink Floyd's Syd Barrett would have been 69 years old. Instead of crying and listening to "Wish You Were Here" repeatedly, Ash Street Saloon has a better idea: a birthday party for Barrett, featuring Aux78, Stochastic Mettle Union, and Amy Bleu. Invite every lost soul you know (fishbowl optional). MB
Ash Street Saloon, 225 SW Ash, 9:30 pm, $4