As a wizened R&B Jedi once carefully intoned, "We don't have to take our clothes off, to have a good time, no no. We can dance and party all night, and have some cherry wine, uh-huh." Setting the cherry wine part aside (because ughhh), that could have been specifically referencing this weekend in Portland! Obviously the World Naked Bike Ride promises to be an amazing experience (as will be the Mercury-sponsored after party), but there's also more family-friendly bikey fun to be had at Sunday Parkways in North Portland the following morning. And if you don't wanna be naked (yet) or on a bike (ever), there's still tributes to Dolly Parton, a pair of Conchords taking flight, an all-day birthday party for the B-Side, a chance to meet the woman who brought BoJack Horseman to life, a chance to bask in the glory of the Goldblum, and so much more. Oh yeah, and KITTIES! SO MANY KITTIES!
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Friday June 24
Flight of the Conchords
Before the Lonely Island's digital shorts, we had Flight of the Conchords—Jemaine Clement and Brett McKenzie's HBO series that followed the lives of two New Zealanders trying to make it as a rap-folk-funk band in New York. For two seasons the duo sang about the perils of the big city, from mutha'uckin racist fruit peddlers refusing to sell them apples, to people hurting their feelings by saying they're not rappers, to dumb bank transaction fees, to women trying to steal a glimpse of their sweet sugalumps. Together the Rhymenoceros and Hiphopopotamus navigated these sticky situations with camaraderie and quick wit, even when they were both in love with the same sexy lady, Brahbrah. They're in Portland for two sold-out nights, so enjoy if you got your tickets well in advance. CIARA DOLAN
Keller Auditorium, 222 SW Clay, 8pm, $35-50
Quiet Music Festival of Portland: Night 1
Shhhh! Curated by artist Chris Johanson, the Quiet Music Festival of Portland shines the spotlight on the tranquil and serene end of the music spectrum. Featuring performances by Bouquet, Peg Simone & Mary, Juan Wauters, Gaitskill, Larry Yes & Nate Lumbard, and Michael Hurley.
Disjecta, 8371 N Interstate, 7pm, $11-19
Ben Harper & the Innocent Criminals
Still traveling with his well-seasoned band, the Innocent Criminals, tonight Ben Harper will play an eclectic, heartfelt set of political rock, blues, reggae, folk, and soul music for what's sure to be a massive crowd of diehard fans. It's rare to see such professional musicians pull off intimate shows like these, and this band combo always makes for a tremendous listening experience... and usually a few "a-ha" moments. JENNI MOORE
Edgefield, 2126 SW Halsey, 6pm, $51.50-57.50, all ages
Nuggets Night 2016: Night 1
Portland’s annual covers night of the 1960s’ tastiest slabs of garage rock has exploded into a two-day extravaganza—with featured performances by some of the originators of the sound: San Francisco cult faves the Flamin’ Groovies on Friday AND legendary Northwest rockers the Kingsmen on Saturday. Plus more than enough great local bands to fill up a fab compilation album! NED LANNAMANN
Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi, 8pm, $20-75
Chuck Klosterman
But What If We're Wrong? sees the acclaimed cultural critic tackling the inevitability that a whole bunch of us don't know shit and we probably won't handle it well when we find out.
Powell's City of Books, 1005 W Burnside, 7:30pm
Toots & the Maytals
In the global village of reggae, only Bob Marley can claim to be more influential than the mighty Toots Hibbert. In a career spanning the length of Jamaica's independence, Toots began public life as the powerful lead of the Maytals, playing intense revival-inspired ska and rocksteady. He then followed up a stint in jail with an unbelievable string of inspired reggae standards, most notably "54-46,""Pressure Drop," and the oft-covered "Bam Bam." While his stunning cameo in the seminal film The Harder They Come most certainly solidifies Hibbert's all-time iconic status within the genre, it's his performance on the indomitable "Funky Kingston," an anthemic ode to his rugged island capital delivered with a funky slice of Wilson Pickett magic, that demonstrates the show-stopping capabilities and leonine electricity of this absolute living legend of Jamaican music. CHRIS SUTTON
Revolution Hall, 1300 SE Stark #110, 9pm, $29.50-32
Little Star, Babe Waves, Sweeping Exits
The Romantic World of Little Star is the sound of guitarist/vocalist Dan Byers inviting you into his home after you've been out walking with your head weighed down by pouring rain. The dense, warm guitars are an electric blanket, the heady bass lines are a fresh cup of tea, and the rain through the window becomes distant pattering drums. CAMERON CROWELL
Anarres Infoshop, 7101 N Lombard, 7pm, $5, all ages
Independence Day: Resurgence
Twentieth Century Fox did not screen Independence Day: Resurgence for critics, probably because the film is so good it would annihilate critics' ranking systems. For how does one give a film "five stars" when it deserves all the stars in the universe? How does one offer "two thumbs up" when a more accurate assessment would be to have each person on Earth join together to raise all of our thumbs to the heavens? And how does one rate "10 out of 10" when one knows ∞ is the only numerical concept that could come close to representing Independence Day: Resurgence? ERIK HENRIKSEN
Various Theaters, check Movie Times for locations and showtimes
Wimps, Mope Grooves, Honey Bucket, Marcy's Band
Seattle lo-fi punk trio Wimps make angular yet catchy slacker-rock songs that take a hard look at some of life's more mundane aspects, and then filter them through energetic, fast-paced song structures. CHIPP TERWILLIGER
American Legion Local 134, 2104 NE Alberta, 8pm, $7, all ages
Hot Dog Taste Test Release Party
Lisa Hanawalt is an American illustrator and James Beard Award-winning cartoonist, most known for her work as a production designer and producer of the animated Netflix series BoJack Horseman. She also co-hosts the excellent Baby Geniuses podcast along with comedian Emily Heller. Tonight is the Portland release party for her new comic, Hot Dog Taste Test, which promises to be a delightful and humorous skewering of foodie subculture.
Floating World Comics, 400 NW Couch, 7pm,
Benjamin Clementine
An evening with the London-based poet, musician and recording artist whose critically acclaimed debut, At Least for Now, took home the 2015 Mercury Music Prize. Also read our story on Benjamin Clementine.
Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell, 9pm, $15-18
Weekend at Bernie's: Live on Stage
Aw, Weekend at Bernie's, that 1989 classic in the esteemed "WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?" movie tradition! (FYI a LOT can go wrong when you and your friend are carrying around the dead body of your boss acting like everything's normal.) Now the beloved bad movie becomes a beloved stage show, featuring some of Portland's most seasoned comedy veterans. MEGAN BURBANK
Siren Theater, 315 NW Davis, 10pm, $15
DJ Cooky Parker
If you love shaking your tail feather to the sweet sounds of rare soul 45s, don't miss Cooky Parker. WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY
Dig a Pony, 736 SE Grand, 9pm
King Khan & the Shrines
Equal parts conscious and kooky, King Khan and the Shrines use funky, R&B-laden garage punk as a medium for inciting laughter and provoking pertinent thoughts. CERVANTE POPE
Dante's, 350 W Burnside, 9pm, $13
The Get Down
Nestled deep in Northeast, the sweaty dance party embodies the ethos of the city's punk underbelly, but still centers on current pop favorites. Made up mostly of neighborhood locals, the party gets big early and doesn't slow down until last call, with nearly 500 dancers filtering in and out through the night. While some dance night organizers boast about their growing numbers, the Get Down's want to keep its local feel as the biggest little dance party in the city. JENI WREN STOTTRUP
The Spare Room, 4830 NE 42nd, 9pm, $5
Western Daughter, Friends in Love, Rod
Three years ago, Ditch Tiger was a bellwether for Boise's then-flourishing DIY scene—the group released one LP of catchy, angular emo before quietly disbanding. While most of that band's members have since relocated to Portland, bassist Cameron Brizzee is holding down the fort with new project Western Daughter, a group making waves in Boise and beyond. The band's debut EP, As the Sun Went Down, is a staggering collection of country-flecked punk rock, in the grand songwriting tradition of Ryan Adams and Will Sheff. Tonight's show also features the second performance from evocatively named Friends in Love, a new vehicle for Lee Corey Oswald songwriters Dan Silver and Lee Ellis. MORGAN TROPER
Bunk Bar, 1028 SE Water, 9pm, $7
Soulstew
For the past 15 years, every Friday night the fertile confines of the Goodfoot's basement space play host to hours of sweaty, soul-slicked revelry. Soul Stew is the perfect antidote to a week full of bullshit hassle, with great late-'60s to late-'70s soul grooves in the vein of vintage Bar-Kays, Otis Redding, Baby Huey, James Brown, and more. RYAN J. PRADO
Goodfoot, 2845 SE Stark, 9pm, $5
Saturday June 25
Dolly Parton Hoot Night
“All Dolly Parton all the time” is a beautiful M.O., and the 11th annual Dolly Parton Hoot Night takes it to heart, as local crooners pay tribute in song to the high-haired one. Proceeds benefit the rad lady artists of the Siren Nation fest, a cause Dolly herself would surely approve of. MEGAN BURBANK
Alberta Rose Theatre, 3000 NE Alberta, 8pm, $15
World Naked Bike Ride
At first, it’s awful. You’re wheeling up to the park and people are already stripping, but you just don’t want to. It feels too vulnerable, like everyone’s eyeing you, waiting to see what you’ll do. But you take all or most of your clothes off anyway—after all, you’ve come all this way—and you stand there awkwardly. Until suddenly it’s not awkward anymore. Suddenly you’re riding your bicycle naked over bridges and down some of the city’s most iconic streetscapes. People amassed on the side of the road are doling out high fives and cheering. The Portland Police Bureau has the route all blocked off for you. The sun is setting, and it is the best. Welcome to the thrill of the World Naked Bike Ride, an event that happens all over the globe, but which Portland does best. If you’ve never been, this is your year. Be sure to attend the Mercury-sponsored after-party, because you’ll want to keep this kind of fun rolling deep into the night. DIRK VANDERHART
Mt. Scott Park, 5530 SE 72nd, 8pm, free
10 Years, 10 Bands
Who doesn't love a block party? Or day drinking? Or live music? Or heavy rock? B-Side Tavern knows what you like, and is celebrating 10 years by throwing one hell of an all-day rock bash. The party starts at noon—about the time you're rolling out of bed—and continues on through the night (that's a Def Lep ref) with 10 bands that have helped put the Pacific Northwest on the heavy rock map, including Gaytheist, Rabbits, Red Fang, and more. MARK LORE
B-Side Tavern, 632 E Burnside, noon, $20
Steal Shit Do Drugs, Vice Device, Bellicose Minds
A night of high-octane, snot-nosed punk rock form the Seattle band who unleashed their debut EP, First Comes Money, on Help Yourself Records last summer.
The Know, 2026 NE Alberta, 8pm
Quiet Music Festival of Portland: Night 2
The Quiet Music Festival of Portland continues on to its second night, with performances from Fred & Toody, Valet, Sunfoot, Virginia Dare, and Like Avillan & Christopher Johnedis.
Disjecta, 8371 N Interstate, 7pm, $11-19
Alien
Once Upon the '70s, before there were doll-eyed albino Michelin Men, before fanged vagina-mouth Rasta-monsters from outer space barged in for a good rassle, before all the Winona-ing and cloning and sad Muppet Baby abominations, before the AIDS allegory and the Vietnam metaphors, before the titular nasty became just a screeching bug you can run over in your car, there was Alien, a movie about tired space truckers stuck in a floating haunted house with an unknowable, unbeatable Freudian nightmare made entirely out of genitalia, teeth, and KY Jelly, and it is probably the best horror movie ever made. BOBBY ROBERTS
Fifth Avenue Cinema, 510 SW Hall, 7pm, 9:30pm, $3-4
Curren$y, Brookfield Deuce, Keegan
I can’t help loving the output of one Shante Franklin, AKA Curren$y. Formerly known by his suffix Tha Hot Spitta (or just Spitta, if ya nasty), Curren$y has surfed the crest of some of Southern rap’s most powerful movements. LARRY MIZELL JR.
Hawthorne Theatre, 1507 SE Cesar E. Chavez, $25-75, 8pm, all ages
Nuggets Night 2016: Night 2
Portland’s annual covers night of the 1960s’ tastiest slabs of garage rock has exploded into a two-day extravaganza—with featured performances by some of the originators of the sound: San Francisco cult faves the Flamin’ Groovies on Friday AND legendary Northwest rockers the Kingsmen on Saturday. Plus more than enough great local bands to fill up a fab compilation album! NED LANNAMANN
Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi, 7pm, $15-75
Andaz
Since 2002 DJ Anjali and the Incredible Kid have hosted this monthly bhangra, Bollywood, and desi bass dance party (the longest running on the West Coast)—and let me tell you, it is WILD. There are flashing lights and Bollywood movies playing on TVs. The air is thick with moisture, so thick that I'm pretty sure it was condensing on the ceiling. Surrounded by energetic dancers, DJ Anjali and the Incredible Kid inundate late-night revelers with rhythms from Southeast Asia and beyond. CIARA DOLAN
The Analog Cafe and Little Theater, 720 SE Hawthorne, 9pm, $10
S1 Two Year Anniversary Party
The space will hold its second birthday party (an accomplishment for just about any venue) with a bevy of Portland electronic artists and DJs. Attendees can experience a selection of experimental Portland synth-based music, but the enduring message seems to be that attendees are just performers waiting to take the reins. MAC POGUE
S1, 4148 NE Hancock, 9:30pm, $10
Mary-Louise Parker
A reading from the award-winning actress' memoir, Dear Mr. You, written as a series of letters written to the men in her life.
Powell's Books at Cedar Hills Crossing, 3415 SW Cedar Hills, 2pm
Havania Whaal, Cockeye, Mr. Wrong
Growing up on cheap-beer-soaked Slip 'N Slides and Festivus celebrations, Havania Whaal avoided becoming Free People-wearing hippies, and instead arose playing their consistently weird art-punk. CAMERON CROWELL
Club 21, 2035 NE Glisan, 9pm
The Lavender Flu, CCR Headcleaner, Super Hit, Sleeping Beauties, Ron Spoons
If you dug garage punk in Portland during the '00s, you remember the Hunches, the most explosive local group of the era. Frontman Hart Gledhill turned antagonizing an audience (and torturing himself) into high art. But the Hunches were more than crashing punk pranksters—the songs were serious and strong. Much of the writing was done by guitarist Chris Gunn, who returns with the Lavender Flu. Gunn is also full of righteous energy, but he channels it inward, the opposite of Gledhill. And while in performance the new band reminds at times of the Hunches—particularly Gunn's songwriting sense, his sharp, bending, circular riffs, and the buildup/breakdown/loud/quiet surges of drummer Ben Spencer (also of the Hunches)—, the Lavender Flu employ a wider, more dynamic musical vocabulary, free from garage punk's narrow trappings. There are bits of plucky fingerpicking, spacey delay, noise washes, and more, swirled in purposeful arcs. Gunn has been working on a soon-to-be-released double album, Heavy Air, practically since the Hunches' 2009 demise. It's been a long time coming, and if a fabulous first show and a few snippets on Soundcloud are any indication, it will be worth the wait. ANDREW R TONRY
(The World Famous) Kenton Club, 2025 N Kilpatrick, 9pm
De Palma
From Scarface to Carrie to Blow Out to Mission: Impossible, Brian De Palma's one of cinema's most fascinating—and controversial—directors. In Noah Baumbach and Jake Paltrow's laser-focused documentary De Palma, the candid, clever De Palma walks audiences through his career—from his worship of Hitchcock to how he sent Sean Connery to the hospital during The Untouchables. It's intense and hermetic—De Palma basically talks right at you for two hours, with only token snippets of time given to the directors critics, let alone their often legit criticisms—but for De Palma fans or anyone wanting to take a dive into the cinema of the past few decades, it's well worth a watch. ERIK HENRIKSEN
Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy, 9:40 pm, $9
Rogue Wave, Hibou
Whether you were an alt-rock aficionado or just really wanted Seth and Summer get together on The O.C., Oakland band Rogue Wave was probably on your radar in the early 2000s. Their gentle, earnest indie rock has wooed critics and TV music supervisors over six albums, most recently Delusions of Grand Fur. On it, the guys attempt to convey a range of emotions and political themes—not an easy feat for otherwise light indie pop. Also check out opener Hibou. The bedroom-pop project from former Craft Spells drummer Peter Michel is super nostalgic and bright, with synth and guitar riffs that truly glimmer and just enough prog to keep things interesting. ANNA McCLAIN
Revolution Hall, 1300 SE Stark #110, 9pm, $18-20, all ages
The Skriker
Third Rail Mentorship Company presents Caryl Churchill's otherworldly play about two young women moving through an adult reality that shifts around them, thanks to visitations from an underworld spirit.
Imago Theatre, 17 SE 8th, 7:30pm, $15
Sunday Jun 26
Ear Candy: Blowout, Naked Hour, Rod
Pop-punks Blowout won the hearts and ears of many Portlanders with their 2014 debut EP, We All Float Down Here. The band has been a mainstay in the local DIY scene for a while, but with their first full-length due out this spring, fans are going to start growing like weeds in Portland and beyond. CIARA DOLAN
Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi, 9pm, free
The Amazing Acro-cats
Samantha Martin has trained a bunch of kitties to do acrobatics like walking tightropes, skateboarding, pushing carts, and so on. Well, okay, "pushing carts" isn't all that acrobatic normally, but you try training a cat to do anything but lick itself and seethe at you, and the miracle of what Martin has done here will make itself very apparent. Plus, the whole thing wraps up with a performance from the only cat band in the world, Tuna and The Rock Cats!
Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie, 1pm, 6pm, $21-36, all ages
The Fits
It’s difficult to describe what happens in director Anna Rose Holmer's The Fits without making it sound deeply ordinary: A little girl in Cincinnati, Toni (an amazing Royalty Hightower), accompanies her brother in his boxing training at a community center, but becomes entranced by the resident all-lady drill team. What follows resembles Shane Carruth’s Upstream Color in its privileging of sound and image over any kind of clear-cut narrative, and evokes everything from the catharsis of art to supernatural ideas of demonic possession to the horrific reality of Flint, Michigan’s contaminated water to the precarious nature of being a girl whose gender expression isn’t normatively feminine. MEGAN BURBANK
Living Room Theaters, 341 SW 10th, see Movie Times for showtimes, $7-10
Edna Vazquez, Villalobos Brothers
Fusing mariachi with contemporary jazz, folk, and rock is far from typical, but Edna Vazquez isn't one to stay within the confines of a label. With roots in Jalisco, Mexico—a state rich with musical tradition—Vazquez made Oregon home at age 17, and has since become a beloved fixture both locally and abroad. The genre-bending bilingual artist has made a habit of disrupting ethnocentric narratives both in her role as a queer woman in mariachi and in challenging what's expected from her as a Latin American musician. EMILLY PRADO
Alberta Rose Theatre, 3000 NE Alberta, 7:30pm, $18
Times Infinity, Calisse
Through stints in such stylistically diverse projects as the Builders and the Butchers, Wooden Indian Burial Ground, and Autopilot Is for Lovers, Paul Seely has reached an esteemed status as a songwriter and a multi-instrumentalist. His newest band, Times Infinity have been under the radar a couple of years, but you wouldn't be able to tell by the breadth of the material on their new self-titled album, which sees its release tonight. RYAN J. PRADO
Rontoms, 600 E Burnside, 8pm, free
Popeye
In 1980, bigshot Hollywood producer Robert Evans said, "Hey, you know that cartoon about the crusty one-eyed sailor with the spinach fetish? What if that was a movie, starring Robin Williams! Did I say movie? I meant musical, with songs by Harry Nilsson! And I want Robert Altman to make it!" And so the movie was made. And it is as amazingly weird as you'd think, and yet somehow still fits perfectly within Altman's filmography. You could watch this, M*A*S*H*, and Nashville all in one day and not a single beat would be skipped. BOBBY ROBERTS
Academy Theater, 7818 SE Stark, 12:15pm, 4:10pm, 9:10pm, $4, all ages
Do Right Sunday
A special benefit for Color Outside the Lines, with DJs Deena Bee and Sparks holding it down on the turntables while special guest Luz Elena Mendoza plays a little something of her own.
Dig a Pony, 736 SE Grand, 9pm
North Portland Sunday Parkways
This time, stop whatever it is you’re doing on Sunday, and join the fun of North Portland Sunday Parkways. Roughly 9.5 miles of streets are blocked off in the northern quadrant of our city, and handed over to non-polluting transportation—primarily bikes and walkers (though you might see some skateboards and roller skates as well). And along the way, expect lots of food, music, and fun as well! WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY
North Portland, click here for route, 11am, free, all ages