Grammys 2017: Adele vs. Beyoncé, A Tribe Called Quest vs. Trump, Bruno Mars vs. Reality, Who vs. Cares?

Metallica and Lady Gaga at the Grammys: Could've been better. Could've been much worse, too.Christopher Polk/Getty

News Flash: The Grammys are of no significance to anyone who isn't an employee or employer of the music industry. With that out of the way, WHAT A SHOW! Just kidding. But there were some good performances, especially by A Tribe Called Quest (if you didn't get stirred up during the Phife Dawg section, you shouldn't admit it in public), Beyoncé, and Chance the Rapper. There were also APPALLING ones—by Katy Perry (note politics and fashion are not the same thing) and Bruno Mars (you are no Prince, senator). If it matters to you that Adele's 25 won album of the year instead of Beyoncé's Lemonade, or if you're trying to decide whether Adele's acceptance speech was a moving tribute or a mortifying mess (or perhaps a moving mess?), or if you're glad that at least Bowie and Blackstar won a bunch of things as did worthy artists like William Bell, Willie Nelson, Steve Reich, Fantastic Negrito, Patton Oswalt, and Ludovid Morlot & the Seattle Symphony, I invite you to consider a poem by the late Leonard Cohen that comes to me every time an entertainment awards show comes on TV:

A person who eats meat
wants to get his teeth into something
A person who does not eat meat
wants to get his teeth into something else
If these thoughts interest you for even a moment
you are lost.

Complete list of winners and lotsa videos below.

The #Grammys Album Of The Year winners and runner-ups:
2014 Daft Punk >Kendrick
2015 Beck >Beyoncé
2016 Taylor >Kendrick
2017 Adele >Beyoncé
— AJ+ (@ajplus) February 13, 2017

Blue's reaction to Beyoncé's performance 💙#GRAMMYspic.twitter.com/Sqq8yPd90L
— BEYONCÉ LEGION (@Bey_Legion) February 13, 2017

WATCH: Beyoncé backstage before winning her Best Urban Contemporary Album award for #LEMONADE. #GRAMMYspic.twitter.com/t8Ga6RFY4Q
— BEYONCÉ LEGION (@Bey_Legion) February 13, 2017

Rewatch time! Check out the Katy feat. @SkipMarley#ChainedToTheRhythm performance at the #GRAMMYs in high quality. #WeThePeople#Persistpic.twitter.com/60XAzKhljj
— Katy Perry Lately! (@katyperrylately) February 13, 2017

Album of the Year
25, Adele

Record of the Year
“Hello,” Adele

Song of the Year
“Hello,” Adele and Greg Kurstin

Best New Artist
Chance the Rapper

Best Pop Vocal Album
25, Adele

Best Traditional Pop Vocal Album
Summertime: Willie Nelson Sings Gershwin, Willie Nelson

Best Pop Solo Performance
“Hello,” Adele

Best Pop Duo/Group Performance
“Stressed Out,” Twenty One Pilots

Best Country Album
A Sailor's Guide to Earth, Sturgill Simpson

Best Country Solo Performance
“My Church,” Maren Morris

Best Country Duo/Group Performance
“Jolene” [ft. Dolly Parton], Pentatonix

Best Country Song
“Humble and Kind,” Lori McKenna, songwriter (Tim McGraw)

Best Rock Album
Tell Me I'm Pretty, Cage the Elephant

Best Rock Song
“Blackstar,” David Bowie

Best Rock Performance
“Blackstar,” David Bowie

Best Alternative Music Album
Blackstar, David Bowie

Best Metal Performance
“Dystopia,” Megadeth

Best Urban Contemporary Album
Lemonade, Beyoncé

Best Rap Album
Coloring Book, Chance the Rapper

Best Rap Song
“Hotline Bling,” Aubrey Graham & Paul Jefferies, songwriters (Drake)

Best Rap Performance
“No Problem,” Chance the Rapper [ft. Lil Wayne & 2 Chainz]

Best Rap/Sung Performance
“Hotline Bling,” Drake

Best R&B Album
Lalah Hathaway Live, Lalah Hathaway

Best R&B Song
“Lake By the Ocean,” Hod David & Musze, songwriters (Maxwell)

Best R&B Performance
“Cranes in the Sky,” Solange

Best Traditional R&B Performance
“Angel,” Lalah Hathaway

Best Comedy Album
Talking for Clapping, Patton Oswalt

Best Spoken Word Album
In Such Good Company: Eleven Years of Laughter, Mayhem, and Fun in the Sandbox, Carol Burnett

Best Folk Album
Undercurrent, Sarah Jarosz
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Best Americana Album
This Is Where I Live, William Bell

Best American Roots Song
“Kid Sister,” Vince Gill, songwriter (The Time Jumpers)

Best American Roots Performance
“House of Mercy,” Sarah Jarosz
Best Regional Roots Music Album
E Walea, Kalani Pe'a

Best Bluegrass Album
Coming Home, O'Connor Band With Mark O'Connor

Best Reggae Album
Ziggy Marley, Ziggy Marley

Best Surround Sound Album
Dutilleux: Sur La Même Accord; Les Citations; Mystère de L'instant & Timbres, Espace, Mouvement, Alexander Lipay & Dmitriy Lipay, surround mix engineers; Dmitriy Lipay, surround mastering engineer; Dmitriy Lipay, surround producer (Ludovic Morlot & Seattle Symphony)

Best Traditional Blues Album
Porcupine Meat, Bobby Rush

Best Contemporary Blues Album
The Last Days of Oakland, Fantastic Negrito

Best Contemporary Instrumental Album
Culcha Vulcha, Snarky Puppy

Best Dance Recording
“Don't Let Me Down” [ft. Daya], The Chainsmokers

Best Dance/Electronic Album
Skin, Flume

Best New Age Album
White Sun II, White Sun

Best Improvised Jazz Solo
“I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry,” John Scofield, soloist

Best Jazz Vocal Album
Take Me to the Alley, Gregory Porter

Best Jazz Instrumental Album
Country for Old Men, John Scofield

Best Large Jazz Ensemble Album
Presidential Suite: Eight Variations on Freedom, Ted Nash Big Band

Best Latin Jazz Album
Tribute to Irakere: Live in Marciac, Chucho Valdés

Best Gospel Performance/Song
“God Provides,” Tamela Mann; Kirk Franklin, songwriter

Best Contemporary Christian Music Performance/Song
“Thy Will,” Hillary Scott & the Scott Family; Bernie Herms, Hillary Scott & Emily Weisband, songwriters

Best Gospel Album
Losing My Religion, Kirk Franklin

Best Contemporary Christian Music Album
Love Remains, Hillary Scott & the Scott Family

Best Roots Gospel Album
Hymns, Joey+Rory

Best Latin Pop Album
Un Besito Mas, Jesse & Joy

Best Latin Rock, Urban or Alternative Album
iLevitable, iLe

Best Regional Mexican Music Album
Un Azteca En El Azteca, Vol. 1 (En Vivo), Vicente Fernández

Best Tropical Latin Album
Donde Están?, Jose Lugo & Guasábara Combo

Best World Music Album
Sing Me Home, Yo-Yo Ma & the Silk Road Ensemble

Best Children's Album
Infinity Plus One, Secret Agent 23 Skidoo

Best Historical Album
The Cutting Edge 1965-1966: The Bootleg Series, Vol. 12 (Collector's Edition), Steve Berkowitz & Jeff Rosen, compilation producers; Mark Wilder, mastering engineer (Bob Dylan)

Best Instrumental Composition
”Spoken at Midnight,” Ted Nash, composer (Ted Nash Big Band)

Best Arrangement, Instrumental or A Cappella
“You and I,” Jacob Collier, arranger (Jacob Collier)

Best Arrangement, Instruments and Vocals
“Flintstones,” Jacob Collier, arranger (Jacob Collier)

Best Recording Package
Blackstar, Jonathan Barnbrook, art director (David Bowie)

Best Boxed or Special Limited Edition Package
Edith Piaf 1915-2015, Gérard Lo Monaco, art director (Edith Piaf)

Best Album Notes
Sissle and Blake Sing Shuffle Along, Ken Bloom & Richard Carlin, album notes writers (Eubie Blake & Noble Sissle)

Best Remixed Recording
“Tearing Me Up (RAC Remix),” André Allen Anjos, remixer (Bob Moses)

Best Engineered Album: Classical
Corigliano: The Ghosts of Versailles, Mark Donahue, Fred Vogler & David L Williams, engineers (James Conlon, Guanqun Yu, Joshua Guerrero, Patricia Racette, Christopher Maltman, Lucy Schaufer, Lucas Meachem, LA Opera Chorus & Orchestra)

Best Engineered Album: Non-Classical
Blackstar, David Bowie, Tom Elmhirst, Kevin Killen & Tony Visconti, engineers; Joe LaPorta, mastering engineer (David Bowie)

Producer of the Year, Non-Classical
Greg Kurstin

Producer of the Year: Classical
David Frost

Best Orchestral Performance
Shostakovich: Under Stalin's Shadow - Symphonies Nos. 5, 8 & 9, Andris Nelsons, conductor (Boston Symphony Orchestra)

Best Opera Recording
Corigliano: The Ghosts Of Versailles, James Conlon, conductor; Joshua Guerrero, Christopher Maltman, Lucas Meachem, Patricia Racette, Lucy Schaufer & Guanqun Yu; Blanton Alspaugh, producer (LA Opera Orchestra; LA Opera Chorus)

Best Choral Performance
Penderecki Conducts Penderecki, Volume 1, Krzysztof Penderecki, conductor; Henryk Wojnarowski, choir director (Nikolay Didenko, Agnieszka Rehlis & Johanna Rusanen; Warsaw Philharmonic Orchestra; Warsaw Philharmonic Choir)

Best Chamber Music/Small Ensemble Performance
Steve Reich, Third Coast Percussion

Best Classical Instrumental Solo
Daugherty: Tales Of Hemingway, Zuill Bailey; Giancarlo Guerrero, conductor (Nashville Symphony)

Best Classical Solo Vocal Album
Schumann & Berg (tie), Dorothea Röschmann; Mitsuko Uchida, accompanist
Shakespeare Songs (tie), Ian Bostridge; Antonio Pappano, accompanist (Michael Collins, Elizabeth Kenny, Lawrence Power & Adam Walker)

Best Classical Compendium
Daugherty: Tales Of Hemingway; American Gothic; Once Upon A Castle, Giancarlo Guerrero, conductor; Tim Handley, producer

Best Music Video
“Formation,” Beyoncé

Best Music Film
The Beatles: Eight Days a Week the Touring Years, The Beatles

Best Song Written for Visual Media
Track from Trolls - “Can't Stop the Feeling!,” Max Martin, Shellback & Justin Timberlake, songwriters (Justin Timberlake, Anna Kendrick, Gwen Stefani, James Corden, Zooey Deschanel, Walt Dohrn, Ron Funches, Caroline Hjelt, Aino Jawo, Christopher Mintz-Plasse & Kunal Nayyar)

Best Score Soundtrack for Visual Media
Star Wars: The Force Awakens, John Williams, composer

Best Compilation Soundtrack for Visual Media
Miles Ahead, Miles Davis & Various Artists; Steve Berkowitz, Don Cheadle & Robert Glasper, compilation producers

Best Musical Theater Album
The Color Purple, Danielle Brooks, Cynthia Erivo & Jennifer Hudson, principal soloists; Stephen Bray, Van Dean, Frank Filipetti, Roy Furman, Joan Raffe, Scott Sanders & Jhett Tolentino, producers (Stephen Bray, Brenda Russell & Allee Willis, composers/lyricists) (New Broadway Cast)

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