Weeeee are the win-ners agaaaaaain.
And we’ll keep on hugging…'TIL THE END!
Yep, the your home team loves hugging so much, that they almost forgot to win their roller derby game. BUT THEY DID. Your Rose City Rollers are the 2016 Women’s Flat Track Derby Association international champions. They won, as is now their fashion, in a face-clenching, swears-inducing, come-from-behind thrill ride, all in front of a home crowd.
London Rollergirls 108, Victorian Roller Derby League 198
I didn’t talk to every single person in the stadium or anything, but the conventional wisdom here seems to be that this would be another close one, with the Australians favored in this game for third place. Well, sports don’t always work out the way everyone planned. Victoria locks down on their famous defense, and London has a tough time unlocking it. London's ladies in pink make halftime adjustments and outscore the Melbourne squad in the second half, but the hole is too big by then. Aussies get the bronze!
Gotham Girls Roller Derby 166, Rose City Rollers 186
At halftime, I joke that if Rose City wanted to come back from their 81-97 deficit and win this rematch of last year's final against New York, they could just build a lead slowly and steadily, and then hold it. That would be fine. We had enough excitement with semifinals on Saturday. No heroes needed here.
WELL GUESS WHAT.
Scald Eagle just has to put up the biggest jam of the night with four minutes left in the damn game. Those 21 unanswered points (unanswered thanks very much to blockers Jessica Chestnut, Hannah Jennings, Sarah Gaither, and Brawn Swanson—yes, some people use derby names and some people use legal names), give Rose City their first lead at 166-158, and give everyone in the crowd coronary issues. A scoreless jam is followed by a near-miracle 18-4 jam for Rose thanks to Loren Mutch's speed. Portland is sitting pretty going into the last jam. All we have to do is get lead jammer status and call this thing off.
Scald Eagle gets lead jammer status, which means that she can end the game as soon as the period clock runs out… but she kinda forgets to. COMMENCE PREMATURE HUGGING. This hugging occurs while the game is still technically on. *Facepalm*
Now, this isn't football, where you just take a knee and start chugging across the field to congratulate the other coach. Gotham asks for an official review to say that maaaaaybe there should be another jam, as an extra player went onto the track during game play. Luckily for us, the refs say no dice. We won the championship! In dramatic fashion! Much like last year!
Do the roars from the home crowd provide the team that lift to push through and keep finding a way to score at the end of the game? Maybe. Is it the lucky crop top I'm wearing and the helpful advice I'm yelling? Very likely.
Brawn Swanson, Rose City blocker extraordinaire, brings great honor to our city by winning tournament MVP. Brawn Swanson exudes excellence from her skates to her mustache, and does many impossible-looking things to slow down and stop her opponents. Brawn’s sister, this Scald Eagle character, was finals tournament MVP last year. They were even holding hands warming up together this weekend. Those two are too much.
If you’re feeling inspired to get involved with Portland roller derby, you could give to a scholarship fund, volunteer, or learn how to skate. Orientation is Saturday, November 12, and you don’t even have to have your own gear to get started. Who knows? That could be you hoisting a skate-shaped trophy over your head someday.