HITCH KICKS AND TOE FLICKS! The Thorns have done it again! With their 11th win of the season, Portland defeated Western New York Flash 3-2 on Sunday night. EXCESSIVE USE OF CAPS LOCK AND INFINITY EXCLAMATION POINTS!
With this win, the Thorns have clinched home field advantage for the playoffs. And if you're asking, “What’s the big deal?” You have obviously have never been to a Thorn’s match/game/mind-bending extravaganza such as this one. 21,144 people packed into Providence Park and did everything short of pulling their faces off to show their support. INTENSE BIORE FACE PEELS
Thorns FC have set a new league record for total home attendance in a season (169,449) and average attendance (16,945) THAT'S A LOT OF SCARVES, FOLKS
Having the Thorns start their playoff battle here in Portland could not be more of a thrilling advantage.
WHAT A FEELING!
The first 25 or so minutes of most Thorn’s games are generally reserved for the defense to shine and shimmy goals away while our offensive side gets their shit together. This seems to be a pattern the Thorns have fallen into this season, but hey—if we keep winning games, who cares? RIGHT? RIGHT? ANSWER ME!
The 2016 Thorns have one of the best defenses in the league and Portland’s premier goalie, Michelle Betos, showed the Western New York Flash some of her fancy moves throughout the game. SHE’S A MANIAC!
Betos is jumping higher and stopping harder week by week—and it has been a delight to watch. By late in the second half, Western New York managed to blast two balls in for points. But Michelle Betos stifled some major opportunities throughout the game. Most notably her final stop of a Flash corner kick in the final seconds of stoppage time. My ears are still ringing and I am still rubbing my eyes in disbelief AND SHE’S DANCING LIKE SHE’S NEVER DANCED BEFORE!
TAKE YOUR PASSION AND MAKE IT HAPPEN
You guys remember what I was saying about the fight and grit that Portland Forward Nadia Nadim plays with week after week? WELL SHE WON’T STOP! She never slows down, hesitates or distrust herself to win the ball and find a way to score. SHE CAN’T DRIVE 55
Nadim did again on Sunday night in the 27th minute. During a breakaway opportunity Nadim was fouled in the box and the Thorns were given a penalty kick. Nadim hasn't missed a PK yet this year and Sunday was no exception. The Thorns were up with one point and the proverbial “FIRE IN PANTS” was lit! STOP DROP AND FIND SOME ALTERNATIVE PANTS!
Then,in the 37th minute, Nadim’s speed and tussle paid off with a cross to Christine Sinclair granting her a left footed kick into the goal. OPTIMUM CANADIAN SOCCER POWER
Even with a two point lead at halftime, this game was far from a runaway victory for the Thorns. And the second half had challenges of it’s own. NO, I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT MY INDIGESTION. I am referring to NY Flashers persistent drive for points.
The substitution of Dagny Brynjarsdottir in for Nadia Nadim would provide the third and winning goal for the Thorns moments after she entered the game. We could all sense Heath’s disappointment in not getting a goal on Sunday, but with her assist to Brynjarsdottir—this was Heath’s ninth assist this year—that’s the most assists in the league! SO MANY RECORDS TO BREAK
HOT FLASHES
The Western New York Flash had a strong presence the entire game. Western New York’s Forward, Jess McDonald nailed a header past Betos in the 77th minute for their first point in the game. I remember thinking “Who cares? We have all these points.” Then I thought, SHUT UP ERIN.
Then my hands got really sweaty.
Then my tummy flipped.
My body was telling me something bad was going to happen.
Sure, my discomfort could have due to the excessive amount of complementary Dutch Bros Coffee and stadium snacks that I quickly consumed moments before the kick off, but Western New York was fighting for a playoff spot and their threat was real. And then Flash’s Forward Lynn Willams got a kick past Betos for a second point. POOR CHOICES AND SHAKY HANDS
The Thorns ended up winning with conviction and pride, and I made it to the ladies room on time. BARELY It was especially nice to win in front of Western New York's coach Paul Riley. He was the Thorn's coach for a few years and I think it's safe to say that WE LIKE OUR NEW DAD BETTER.
The Thorns have one more regular season game set against Sky Blue FC on Sunday September 25 in New Jersey. Currently Sky Blue is 6th in the league.
Watch the Thorn’s next game here. http://www.timbers.com/thornsfc/thorns-live
Follow me on Twitter @erinjeanius